Dating dislikes are a very personal. The things one person loves someone their mate can be the cause for divorce for another couple. You may love the way they smile with one gold tooth, wink from under their glasses, flick their dyed orange hair or paint their nails blue, and that is your prerogative. But there are some common things we all look for when dating someone.
1.) The top of the dating dislikes list is hygiene. You may laugh at this, but it is often overlooked, especially by men. Getting ready for a date doesn’t just mean a quick rake of the hair and the straightening of a T shirt. Remember, first impressions count and may be the only impression you leave. Before a date, get yourself to the chemist and then to the bathroom and put some effort into your appearance. Have a shave, wash your hair, scrub behind your ears and get suited up. It is your chance to shine, so make sure you are indeed shining. You may be a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, and that’s OK. Just brush your teeth for two straight minutes, wear deodorant and nice aftershave, and put on a neat shirt.
2.) Clothes are big dating dislikes. The wrong clothes that is. It is amazing the number of times I have witnessed a good looking girl dressed immaculately only to discover her new man wearing an anorak in a trendy bar, a dirty t-shirt in a restaurant or ratty jeans to the theater. It’s very disheartening. The fact is, how you look on a first date is very important, because it’s time for both of you to shine. You don’t need to be wearing Gucci or Armani, though it can help on occasions, and you should be comfortable. Business casual can be good depending on your date. This is often why I recommend going on a first date at lunch during the week. You are already dressed for work so you may already be wearing a neat outfit. If your job is manual and you get dirty, leave the first date until evening. But for men, you should wear a button-down shirt and trousers and look presentable. No garish Hawaii kit at this stage. For women, something understated but stylish is best. Too tight, too short or too fashionable may leave you feeling wrongly dressed for the wrong date and wishing you hadn’t bothered.
3.) Money is a big issue that can end up on the one in the dating dislikes list. Too flashy and it looks conceited. Too downtrodden and you’re out, especially if you’re a guy. Too much chatting about cash is no fun, but too little ambition is a turn off. To be safe, keep your cash conversations to a zero level and enjoy your date together. If you want to talk about ambitions, avoid chatting about your burning desire for a Lear Jet and house in the Hamptons. If you aspire to be Donald Trump, cool, but don’t ram it down your date’s throat. Money, contrary to popular opinion, doesn’t impress at first, it simply polarizes people. It can leave your date feeling very uncomfortable no matter which direction you go. If you are dating someone outside of your financial class, don’t try and pretend you’re something you aren’t. Instead always keep to something affordable, because you are spending time with someone, not their wallet or purse. If you do happen to be a millionaire, keep that under wraps your 4th date.
4.) Lying. Many people tell lies on dates even though it’s a huge dating dislike. They do this because they want to appear exciting, invigorating and interesting. This means that some of the things you are told are not true or only partially true. In a good dating scenario, these little white lies get played out with a laughter and good conversation, and the truth escapes as you both relax. Though they might be entertaining, little white lies could put you on the path towards dating disaster. People are seeking honesty because it is one of the basic building blocks for any new relationship. Get caught later and you may be in trouble.
5.) Getting drunk can put you on the true path to dating disaster. If you’re a young student, most dating occurs near the many bars near your college campus, and I for one have many fond memories of those dates. However, as we get older, things get a little more serious and we need to keep out wits about us. Girlfriends have told me that the most promising dates they have been on ended up in the gutter because their dates got smashed on vodka or beer. Of course the biggest reason people get drunk on dates is nerves. Many people are far more relaxed after a drink or too. It calms your nerves and fears and promotes a feeling of confidence. In that sense, a drink is good for dating, if it ends after one. If you go too far in the early stages of dating, you can simply end up undoing all your good work. If you are nervous, you can end up drinking too much and making a fool of yourself. So whilst drinking can be fine, leave it out at this stage of your dating game plan.
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