First impression on first Dates

In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or skirt with the Manolo’s or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good — after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know others can see it too. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful and you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

This is not to say that we need to spend a King’s ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, it’s important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.

Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn’t wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don’t choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.

While our female readership doesn’t need a lecture in self presentation generally, our male readership often does. The first thing for men to remember is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can’t dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her?

But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don’t mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!

Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn’t need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. The bad news is most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn’t happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.

Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. While there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.

Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.

You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.

I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.

Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.

Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. Take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.

Avoid Rejection on First Date

Rejection is one of our greatest fears, a fear that can have a very damaging impact on us. When dealing with dating matters, rejection is a subject never very far away. Being rejected by someone makes us feel small, worthless, insecure and unwanted. We lose our self confidence and want to crawl into our shell until we feel strong again. We may do something outrageous instead, something on the rebound to exact some from of revenge. But no matter how we react, no matter who we are, the fact is being rejected hurts.

Most people like being loved and like being popular. It makes us feel good about ourselves. We sometimes meet grumpy people who say that they don’t care what others think of them, and while there maybe be one or two who do think that way, most of us want to be liked. So the way we handle rejection can be very complex. It is dependent on many factors, including our personality, childhood and earliest relationships.

Rejection comes in many forms. It could be a huge blow, like a partner being unfaithful to a loved one moving out and calling off a relationship for good. Rejection may come in the smallest of ways, from someone forgetting about an important occasions to a partner who simply falls out of love. Rejection can be a date who doesn’t show up or a date who says that they don’t want to take things further. But whatever the scenario, if you are on the receiving end of rejection, you need to keep things in perspective by looking at the bigger picture and focusing on the many positive aspects of your life.

The way we handle rejection is important in helping us keep our self esteem and dignity. When we are rejected, we often want to go crazy and blame ourselves for being rejected. But the reality is that it’s usually the other person’s problem, not ours. When we are rejected we may try to forgive and forget and make excuses for the person rejecting us. If we do that we are not helping ourselves. The best thing we can do is to face reality and move on.

Being rejected hurts. The person you entrusted with your hopes, desires and feelings has turned round and said that they don’t want to be involved with you. When this happens you immediately move into blame mode. It must be, in some way or another, your fault for being rejected. Maybe it’s the way you look, your shape or height, your hair or lack of it. Maybe the way you acted, the things you said or the things you did that caused the rejection. You wonder yourself is there was anything you could have done to prevent it. These are all natural questions we ask ourselves in the rejection process. But we shouldn’t dwell on them.

The fear of rejection is a debilitating issue. It stops us from making the next. It stops us from approaching another person we really like. If rejection is the curse, confidence is the cure. The way to fix rejection is to balance it with confidence by investing in fun activities and positive thinking. If you feel good about yourself, you’ll be able to recognize the great truths about yourself too. Maybe you are good at your job, you’re organized, well dressed or in shape. You don’t need to worry about what other people think about you to be happy with yourself. Then, if a date doesn’t go well or someone simply doesn’t like you, you can embrace that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. The more confident you are, the better you will be able to cope with most forms of rejection.

It is beyond the scope of this brief article to suggest ways of dealing with the feelings of rejection from the failure of a marriage or long-term relationship, from infidelity or major domestic drama. But what is true in most cases is that when we are rejected, we will come back stronger than ever in the end. Rejection in many instances moves us into a time of reflection and thought, of new perspectives and inner learning. It is a useful process because it also allows us to learn about ourselves.

The thing that annoys me most of all about rejection is the lack of honesty in people. When someone doesn’t like you they should say so. When they don’t intend to see you again they should say that. If they are not going to call then they should admit it. There is nothing more refreshing on a single date than someone being honest and saying that they would prefer to leave it there. When we are lied to, the feeling of rejection is compounded.

Another interesting facet of rejection is that there are people out there who will try to reject you so they themselves are not rejected. It’s a kind of defense mechanism. If they feel they are not doing too well, they will dump you, before you may possibly dump them. I know some people who have told me that they have never been rejected or dumped because they always do it first. So keep that in mind if someone rejects you.

I don’t have all the quick answers to this complex topic. But I will say that if you learn about yourself, get to know your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses, things will be much easier. Stay open, realistic, maintain your sense of humor, be confident and rejection will wash over you when it happens. Looking back on my life, if I were to imagine myself with most of the people who have rejected me, I wouldn’t be happy. That is because they were never right for me in the first place.

Few More Successful Tips for First date

Don’t be fooled by yourself or kind hearted friends. Looks matter in the dating game and never more so that in the media-savvy world we live in today. It maybe be unfair, we may hate it, but it is true. Image is king and speaks volumes about who we are. From the clothes we wear to the places we eat and drink to the places we decide to inhabit, people notice what we do and make judgements as to who we are by how we look.

The very first facet of our self-image is our presentation to others and this is initially portrayed through the way we look. Now I think it’s fair to say that most people don’t have a fabulous self image. We all know people who love themselves but generally, though we may like ourselves, we don’t love everything about us. We may not like our noise, the shape of our face, our hair, the way we get a wrinkle around the eye. Maybe our butt is too big or we could do with losing some weight. But whatever it is, there will always be something that could be bettered. Just look at the way people who have had a lot of cosmetic surgery still manage to complain. Well I am sorry guys, but perfection is somewhat elusive.

The basis of any courtship, date or relationship is basic physical attraction. If you are not attracted to someone and they are not attracted to you, you have just become friends. Whatever happens afterwards, it is likely to stay that way. You both must be physically attracted on some level to make things work. Yes, spiritual attraction, deep respect and friendship all do play a part in the longer term but in the first few minutes of meeting we instantly recognize whether there is an attraction and chemistry present between us.

These basic signals dilate pupils, redden the skin, wet the lips and arouse base human instincts. That desire is to lead to the wish to have sex. The issue is that these signals are being eroded by well-meaning campaigners who say that looks should not matter. I am not really very good looking in my own opinion but I do know what I look like. And I do know who and what I am attracted to. I am sometimes called shallow because I go for a certain look for my dates. But the point is that these looks are what I find attractive and I tend to go for people who go for my kind of looks, thus increasing the chance of dating success.

Initial dates are all about looks, about who and what we find attractive and we are foolish if we try and suppress these desires. If you like someone’s hair, eyes, lips, the way they play with their fingers, the way they hold a glass or the way they walk then this is all on purpose. It is all part of the grander plan of matching like with like. By matching couples who are physically attracted, it is nature’s way of pairing off. And for the most part it works well. The issue arises where we have trouble finding people who find us attractive.

The first thing that springs to mind is that where physically appealing looks are lacking, so people tend to make up with personality. Some of the sexiest people I have ever met are not physically attractive but they are immensely funny. Comedians are often not the best looking people you have met but are very attractive. This in some way comes from their inner confidence and stage presence. It is often said that men who are not too tall exude character and personality to make up for it. Again this may be true.

The key thing though is that we must not underplay the reality that looks are important when dating. We should try to understand what kind of looks we really are attracted to and what kind of people we appeal to. We should understand how we look to others. If we are unhappy with the way we look then we should take necessary steps to look the best we can. That is not for others but purely for ourselves. In turn this will increase confidence levels and help make us more attractive. People will often say that one should not care about what is outside but what is inside that matters. Its true. That is the way the world should be. But it isn’t. That kind of comment comes from those who are secretly worried about the way they look.

Conversely people often say that for them, looks don’t matter. That is not true either. Looks never matter when you already the like the look of someone and find them acceptably attractive. Looks only matter when you are not attracted to someone physically. When you are seriously not attracted, then the looks of the other party become an issue even if you won’t admit it. By generally meeting people who are attractive to you, you will eventually believe that on a conscious level you don’t acknowledge looks. It is true that your view on physical attractiveness changes as you get older and as you mature in outlook. A man of 50 may not be attractive to a girl of 20 but may be very attractive to a woman of 40. Then again a woman of 45 can be very attractive to a man of 30. It all depends.

Our lives and the way we have developed in connection with life-experiences governs to some degree what and who attracts us. Personally, I like long straight blonde hair, but it is as much related to my teenage likings for the blonde singer of Fleetwood Mac or Agnetha from Abba as it is for any other reason. So there may be a link to what we find attractive on an emotional as well as physical level due to to the early connections we make.

In modern society, we can all look good and we can look healthy. It is possible to buy image from the local store and we are sophisticated presenters of image through our exposure to the media. But in the end we are in danger of losing a connection to the most basic of instincts, physical match. We can pretend that men and women who seek physical perfection are shallow and outdated, but they are only following their basic instincts. We can disguise and we can pretend and we can plead for others to look at our inner selves first and we can spend months chatting on an Internet dating site to show how nice we are. However in a two minute meeting face to face, we both know whether it will work or not.

Physical matching is not about physical perfection, it is about compatibility. If you are not feeling truly good about yourself when you are about to begin dating then take some time out to take an inventory of yourself and then set about changing a few things. Remember that everything you do in life affecting your appearance should primarily be for yourself but at the same time if you are serious about dating successfully you really should think very seriously about how you look to others. As I have said previously, you may be searching for your perfect partner, but to find them you may well have to try and present yourself as their ideal mate too.

Finally consider this. A survey recently asked what attribute people most associated with being poor and unsuccessful. The top answer was being overweight and the second was smoking.

Way from First to Second Date

Once you have had a successful first date and have made contact again to establish a second meeting it is amazing how many people start questioning the situation and worrying unnecessarily. When people arrange a second date confidence levels should be high because you have already established a mutual attraction and interest level so don’t forget that he/she has already indicated they like you a lot. The first date may have been short and sweet but the desire is high on both sides and so it is now that you need to develop the situation into something more concrete.

1. If you are going to blow the situation it is now. You got over the first major hurdle but now she or he will be paying particular attention to seek confirmation about certain assumptions they have already made. If you presented a false image first time round you will get caught out now. If you told lies, you will have to be extremely careful about what you say.

2. If we establish that you weren’t creating a facade on the first date and were being yourself then the second date is to establish more of the same but on a grander scale with more detail. This is the perfect opportunity to move your dating away from the dinner table or bar and into a weekend day out.

3. It is still too early to offer dinner at your own apartment or theirs but you need more time now to get to know each other and the phone won’t assist you. You need human contact and interaction with your love-interest. I therefore recommend you establish if possible a Saturday or Sunday lunchtime to meet so that you can combine a coffee or light lunch with a walk in the park or on the beach, maybe throw a ball about or go to a sporting occasion.

4. A second date is too early for theater or movies because you must communicate a lot at this stage. Therefore you need a place to walk and talk and start to feel comfortable in each others’ company. Book shops, browsing, a market, antique stalls, a sport, a club, a shopping trip. The options are endless. But as you both feel you need to seek out some further intimacy a lunchtime meeting can extend throughout the afternoon and into evening, depending on how you feel about one another.

4. A weekend afternoon lends itself to ebbs and flows, you can talk openly at a cafe table and then walk and feel how it is to walk next to your date. There may be the opportunity to hold hands or create spontaneous entertainment or even a small first kiss. The afternoon will lend itself to distractions for the first time with the things around you which will inject interesting equations into your communication dynamic.

5. Once again keep in mind an end time for this date. Allow things to flow but don’t leave things so open ended that you appear hanging around as if you have nothing better to do. You have both just compromised your special off-duty time to be with each other but if you have plans for the evening then once again you appear busy and interesting. This is always essential to successful dating.

6. Once again, although your conversation on this second date will have more substance and credence to it, you should still shy away from discussing anything about ex relationships and sex. The enigma factor remains and whilst the desire and interest factor on both sides may be very high, too much too soon can easily spoil everything.

7. It is on this occasion that you will establish once and for all whether you both wish to continue establishing a basic relationship. Though we won’t use that word at this stage as it is too early, it is in fact what is happening. You may tempt each other in a restaurant by feeding each other food, which is a sign of showing you can provide for each other. You may playfully tickle and touch and do the many subtle things that demonstrate attraction, but it is a situation that builds slowly. Therefore I recommend that you try and keep relaxed.

8. It is likely that you will be feeling a little uneasy because of your high interest levels and sense of attraction. You will feel an urgency to feel something more definite or concrete but this will not yet establish itself and therefore you must simply think of your second date as a dawning of your knowledge of each other and a time for fun. It is a moment to be savored.

9. If you haven’t told your date you are attracted to them then you must at least tell them that you are having a great time. Using words is important but do NOT go over the top. The love word comes a long time later whatever you may be feeling. Yes love at first sight does happen, but you do not need to say it. However you should compliment your date and allow them some feeling of security by making them feel comfortable if possible. And they should do the same for you.

10. The second date is about fulfilling the promises established in the first date. It is about setting out future possibilities by getting to know each other and having fun. There is nothing more to add at this time because from now on you will do more of the same and continue to do so until your dating starts to become a relationship.

11. On the other hand, the second date also allows you to uncover some truths about your date you may have missed on the first date. It is a time for building the basics and therefore you will be able to establish if there is a way forward or whether this is the time to stop. If you don’t wish to carry things on then there is nothing lost, you simply owe it to your date to be honest one way or another.

First Dating with a Stranger

Your friend has just set you up with a guy you have never met and know nothing about, except what she has told you. You have those fears. What if I don’t like him or what if I like him but he doesn’t like me.

Well don’t worry, we are here to help:

Be Open Minded

Remember this is a blind date. You have never seen this guy before. Don’t form a mental image of him or have high expectations. You will only be disappointed if he is not how you imagined. You will know within the first few minutes whether you are attracted to him or not.

Keep it Short but Sweet

Don’t arrange to meet at the cinema, for dinner, or any where else that could keep you together for more than an hour. Arrange to meet up for a coffee, or during your lunch break. If you are not interested in the guy, then you can make a quick exit if you have only agreed to meet for half an hour or an hour, and if you do like him then you can stay where you are or arrange to meet up again.

Your Exit Route

It is crucial when on a blind date that you have an escape route. You could get a friend to call you 30 minutes into the date and if you don’t like him you can make an excuse and leave. If you do like him, you can tell your friend to call you back later. (Remember to always let someone know where you are). Or you could tell him that you promised your friend you’d go shopping an hour after you and he planned to meet. If the date is going well, pretend to go call her to let her know that “you’re not up to going shopping”. Go shopping if you aren’t interested. You could get some friends to turn up at the meeting point and if things aren’t going well you can leave with them. If things are going well, tell them you will meet up with them later.

Be Yourself

One of the biggest mistakes people make when going on a blind date is trying to be someone they aren’t.

When meeting someone for the first time, be yourself. Whether that means going all out, or remaining casual, your personality will shine through only if you’re not trying to be something you aren’t. While first impressions are important, do not feel the need to wear heels on a Sunday if you’d normally wear flip-flop sandals. He wants to know who you are; not who you think he wants you to be.

Better Safe than Sorry

Whilst going on a blind date can be exciting and fun, remember that you have no firsthand knowledge about the person you are meeting. If you have been set up through mutual friends, they will most likely have a rough idea of your plans. But just in case, make sure someone knows exactly where and when you’re meeting.

If the person you are meeting is a complete stranger, however, you need to take even more precautions. Make sure someone knows your whereabouts, knows the name of the person you will be meeting, and how long the date is scheduled for. You may want to have a friend join you, or “run into you” about 15 minutes into the date to check up on you.

Who’s Paying ?

Make it clear from the start if you intend to pay for half of everything. You may not want to feel like you owe the guy anything.

Saying Good-bye

Parting after a blind date has the potential to be very awkward, but it doesn’t have to be! Should you kiss him, if you like him? Should you tell him you aren’t interested? It’s always best to do whatever you think feels right. If you are interested in going out with him again, make sure he knows it and tell him that you will call. If you aren’t interested in seeing him again, make sure that you let him know. It’s better to be honest then stringing him along to false hopes.

Getting to Know Him

Pay close attention to the things he says, which can reveal a lot. Discussing taste in music, film, food, and art can be a great way to find out if you two have common interests - or nothing in common at all!

You should also look for common “warning signs” when on a blind date. If the guy does any of the following, watch out!

• Talks about his ex-girlfriend throughout the date
• Doesn’t offer to pay for the first date (or the second, or third…)
• Speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends
• Treats the waiters and/or staff rudely, or doesn’t tip
• Remember not everyone’s tastes are the same, and there will be things about a guy that you do not like, such as lack of hygiene etc..

These are your own warning signs, so don’t ignore them!

Must Read Tips for First Date

First dates can be nerve wracking, and they often render even the most experienced of daters shy, silent and prone to making awkward and embarrassing mistakes that blow the chances of getting a second date even before the initial meeting is over. Here are some pointers to help you put your most attractive foot forward and make a good impression.

Do’s

1. Do be on time. The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression on your date by being late. Tardiness implies that you don’t care. Even worse, the person you’re meeting may not hang around to wait for you to turn up.

2. Do make your partner feel comfortable. We’re all a bit on edge during a first date with someone. Trying to put your partner at ease and get him or her to relax will also help you stay calm and enjoy yourself.

3. Do be an interesting date. The worst thing you can do is show up for a date with someone and then sit there all night and talk about nothing — or, even worse, stay so silent that they might as well have eaten dinner alone. Don’t make yourself easy to forget.

4. Do laugh at their jokes. Even if you’ve heard the joke 100 times or more (or it just isn’t funny at all), laughing along with your date will communicate that you are interested in them.

5. Do keep the conversation alive. That dreaded silence, during which you’re both scrambling to come up with something — anything — to say, can seem to last for eternity and will make both of you think the other person is boring. Jot down a few questions ahead of time. Practicing for the date can make all the difference.

6. Do take an interest in your date. Listen when he or she is talking. Be interested in what they have to say, and show how interested you are by asking questions about what they like to do, read, eat for dinner, etc.

7. Do go somewhere unique. First dates don’t have to be to the movies or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer, lasting impression if you get creative.

8. Do be confident. Confidence says a lot about a person. Being more confident will help you get through that first date with ease and let your partner know you’re comfortable with who you are.

9. Do be yourself. You won’t fool anyone by pretending to be someone you’re not. Also, if you’re planning to continue seeing this person, the real you will come out eventually, so you might as well start off by introducing them to who you really are, flaws and all.

10. Do stay safe. Take your cell phone with you, plan to drive yourself and let a friend know where you’re going, who you’ll be with and when you’ll be back.
Don’ts

1. Don’t be late. First impressions count, and if you’re late, this will make your date think you’re lazy and didn’t care enough to plan ahead.

2. Don’t talk about yourself all night. There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about herself all the time. How vain can you get?

3. Don’t talk about past relationships. Maybe that’s how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what she did or didn’t do. Concentrate on this new person, and see if you can get to the second date.

4. Don’t eat with your mouth open. It’s gross. Your date is there to see you, not your food.

5. Don’t bombard your date with extremely personal questions. Like you, they probably don’t want to reveal too much about themselves just yet. If you like each other and want to continue the relationship after this first meeting, there will be plenty of time to ask questions and delve deeper.

6. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. So he likes dogs, but you’re a cat person. Pretending otherwise will only make the other person feel deceived and turned off when they discover the truth. Find someone who wants you for you, not for who you’re pretending to be.

7. Don’t forget to thank the other person for the date. This is not only good manners but also gives you a chance to end it, if you’re not interested — or to ask them out on another date, if you are.

8. Don’t propose marriage or kids, unless you never want to see that person again.

9. Don’t pursue sex after your partner has said no. Period. It’s tacky, and it proves you’re a jerk.

10. Don’t get drunk! As much as drinking copious of alcohol to calm your nerves sounds like a good idea, think about how bad you’re going to feel if you miss most of your date because you’re in the bathroom revisiting your meal. Additionally, this kind of behavior will show your love interest that you can’t control yourself and don’t know your limits. It also isn’t safe — getting drunk and lowering your inhibitions is likely to put you at risk of unwanted advances, and you won’t be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about them.

Things to Take on First Date

1. Wallet, purse, handbag and money or/and credit cards. It may be the guy’s task to pay but the woman should not appear empty handed just in case.

2.We are living in a modern age, so modern thinking is required, whatever your morality and outlook. Stay sensible.

3. Mobile or cellular phone. For women this is an essential security device as well as an aid to keeping in contact with your date should arrangements go awry or the cab is late.

4. A piece of paper with directions and address of the restaurant or location you are meeting together with your date’s cellular number if they have one. That way you won’t find yourself in the embarrassing situation of not knowing where you are going.

5. A sense of humor. Okay it’s not a thing but it is the one factor that ruins dates more than anything else, the inability to laugh and enjoy. Going on a date in a bad mood is not going to make anyone feel special.

6. A flower. A nice touch for a guy to show he has thought about his date by bringing a single flower that he has actually gone and purchased rather than stealing from a local garden.

7. If conditions require it, take an umbrella. There is nothing worse than spending hours getting ready, only for a rogue shower to ruin everything. This is particularly true towards the end of the evening, so be prepared and do not allow yourself to feel cold or wet. Discomfort can ruin everything.

8. Take some trust and common sense in equal amounts. You have to trust people from the outset otherwise you are fooling yourself. Remember that people are innocent until proven guilty so don’t take along an attitude that your new date is as bad as your ex until proven otherwise, otherwise love will elude you. By the same token common sense will ensure you can spot danger signals and warning signs in your date and whether you are or are not indeed compatible.

9. Carry a small pocket diary and pen, especially the guy. This will make you look organised and professional and allows you to arrange a second date together as well as make a note of his or her number. Try not to have lots of other girls/boys names on the pages you are liable to be writing in.

10. If you are attending some event, make sure you have the tickets in advance and that you have them with you. Trying to gain entry for a concert, theater, movie or gig on the day may backfire so don’t leave things to chance and disappointment.

And finally, make sure you haven’t left your personality at home either. Whilst first dates can be quite daunting for many, there is no excuse for forgetting yourself. So many people feel overawed by the moment that they suppress who they are, forget themselves and find themselves tongue tied. It is as much your date as theirs so remember that this is quality time for you to have fun and relax, yes relax. Enjoy the conversation that flows.