Problems in Love

Numerous reasons could be cited which lead to misunderstanding between individual in a relationship. It could be monetary, emotional or even physical. One could look at the misunderstandings from two perspectives- male and female.

Male perspective

Several reasons could be attributed by the man in the relationship, some of them could be:

Adequate communication

It is considered that women's behavior is more emotional than men's. Although it would be fair to say that even the most emotional women are sometimes simply not quite self-confident. Men hardly use the female language of emotions and for them learning a Latin or Greek would be easier to learn as compared to the former. This gap in communication provokes most of acute problems and conflicts.

Lack of understanding

To bridge the communication gap that sets in individuals, it is important for the man to gain some understanding of emotions. Maybe women at times use an emotional approach to communicate which is misunderstood by men as encroachment. So if a man wants to become proficient in emotional aspect, it is important to learn to understand your feelings.

Blaming each other

Many a times, men think that women are encroaching too much by grazing some emotional aspect. Though the woman might be trying to make them comfortable, it could be misinterpreted! This could result in the two individuals blaming each other.

Being compassionate

Expressing compassion resolves a great deal of miscommunication. At time it becomes imperative for men to shed their rationalistic thinking and get into the shoes of a woman! That mean. They need to be more patient and lend an ear to their partner's maladies irrespective how trivial it may be.

Female perspective

A man is not as bad as you think!

The emotional communication of men differs from women as a result women need to realize that they might not get the same degree of intimacy from men when it comes to talking.

Let him boast

Women should take men boating about their success at workplace or other things in their stride. Women generally perceive boasting as a sign of egoistic male nature while in reality it might not be the case! That is why you should take this character trait as a matter of course.

Give him his space

Men always need more space, than women do. Women might find this to be dictatorial in nature. Women should remember that when a man interferes into your private space he is bound by his habit of exercising a certain degree of authority.

Money related issues

Money related issues crop up when there exist some form of imbalance between the two individuals. This could also be augmented by ego and lack of communication. Issues which go unnoticed acquire gargantuan stature once marriage happens. Some of the situations could be:

Difference in priorities

One's choice of a house could be negated with another's choice of a holiday

Possessiveness towards income

If the individuals become conscious of who is earning and how much then that could lead to ripples in the relationship. Prudence is good but understanding is more

Differnece Between Friendship & Love

What is friendship, and love? Is there a difference? These are two of the questions that have always intrigued most people. Unfortunately, precise and concise answers to such a question cannot be given. The least that can be said about these two is that both complement each other and that friendship is a subset of love!

Friendship

So what exactly is friendship? How do we define it? Why do we call a person our friend? When do we call someone a very good friend? These are questions to which answers can be sought but then they are case specific.

Friendship is not a state of mind, it's an act. It's something you do, it's not about whether you're good or not, it's not a reflection of you, it's a balanced relationship between people. It varies from person to person. But to define friendship loosely one could say that:

We call those people our friends whom

• We care and are ready to help us during times of distress
• With whom we share most of our thoughts
• We can always count upon our during an emergency

Friendship and love are not quite the same thing, although there's a lot of love around friendship. We are always sure that our friend will understand why we acted in a certain way. We need not explain anything to our very good friends. The friendship is so deep and the relationship is so intimate, that most of the things are automatically understood by our friends.

Love

The primary aspect in love, which makes it stand apart from friendship, is that the two individuals share a certain intimacy, which is greater than friendship

• A primary element in love is the physical element. Friendship has its boundaries defined and no matter how close you are with your friend, it is devoid of physical intimacy. The individuals look at an emotional quotient, which also involves their sexual attachment with each other. This is a vital difference between friendship and love
• In love, individuals generally have only one partner as against friendship. You may have numerous people whom you could call friends/ good friends but there exists only one person with whom you are in love
• A loving relationship makes one so much attached to the other, that one gets pained if his/her beloved is hurt!
• Friendship may last for a life time as does love and relationship but then the time spent by the individuals with each other is high in love / relationship as compared to friendship Life without love is like a year without spring. One could say that love is friendship plus physical closeness.

Types of Love

Love is the basic ingredient which forms the basis of all life on earth. It is a feeling which cannot be quantitatively measured or qualitatively analyzed but which nevertheless is vital for the coexistence of all forms of living beings on this planet. There are different kinds of love and it exists at different levels. Some of the most basic ones are:

Love between Parent and Children

Love between parent and children forms the basis for any upbringing. It is not merely confined to the likes of upbringing but goes a long way in deciding the emotional quotient of an individual. There are several ways in which parents can show their affection and love to their children, some of them are:

• Say 'I love you' to your Child:

  These three simple plain words can lend a huge assurance to your children. Although many would argue that saying is not everything, but saying conquers half the battle! The words bridge the emotional gap which exists between parents and their children. A simple "I love you" goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.

• Develop Small Rituals

  It is always better that you develop some rituals such as having meals together or a bedtime stories or a game of baseball with your kid. Such a gesture makes him / her believe that you as a parent are always beside him / her.

• Look out for One-On-One Opportunities:

  One-on-one opportunity asserts your care for your kids and also gives them the confidence that you are there to listen to their problems and issues.

• Children feel lonely and depressed when they feel that you are not paying attention to them. So clarify the point that they are the first priority in your life.
• Help your children in doing their small works and let your children help when you work.

• Be their Best Friend:

  Make yourself your Child's Best Friend in the whole world. Understand their needs, respect their likes and dislikes and support them in their decisions.

Love between Siblings:

Love between siblings is something special that brings light in one's life. It is special for it is teaches a lot of things such as:

• It gives you a partner in who you can confide
• Staying together during tough times
• It gives a special person who is more than a friend
• It also teaches sacrifice and conceding as it happens with the elder brother or sister among the siblings

Love between Life Partners:

Love between life partners is all about sharing and caring each emotion each responsibility whatever small it may be. It all about loving each other unconditionally, embarking on a journey of life, weathering the storms of life and enjoying the good times together.

Love between Friends:

Love between friends is something special.

• "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin
• It is all about assurance, about someone there to listen to you and lend a helping hand during times of need.
• Love among friends is something special; it transcends the boundaries of acquaintance and takes you into a world of trust and sharing

Pet love:

People around the world like to have pets. Having a pet has numerous facets to it such as

• Pets take the human mind off loneliness, grief, pain, and fear
• They cause laughter and offer a sense of security and protection
• They encourage exercise and broaden the circle of one's acquaintances

Essentials of Love and Relationships

Love Thyself

It is a fact that if you can't love yourself you cant love anyone else. Self-esteem is also a key ingredient for a healthy relationship. It is good to lean on your partner for reassurance but you, as an individual should be strong to support your relationship through any kind of crisis.

Mutual Love

First of all for a relationship to exist, two people should like each other. And love of all relationships is not static one. If you are in love with each other and agree on what each of you think and behave then a relationship will not have too many problems. Encouraging words help in supporting and building trust and respect.

Spend Quality Time

These days the importance of things can be measured with the amount of time spent on it. It so happens that couples more time initially in a relationship. Later they get busier with other things in life. When this happens it is time for both to sit down and make a priority list. Spending less time together can cause couples to drift away.

Communication

Communication is the core of any relation ship, more so in the case of a love relationship. It is through communication that you can tell your partner what you are thinking, what you want. Talking can also make a relationship strong as there will also be intellectual bonding as well. It is also important to say things openly and honestly. Communication also includes listening to your partner patiently.

Top 10 Love Definitions

Love is an 'ocean', so defining ocean is not an easy job. Every time you take a plunge into the ocean you are bound to find something new and novel. This is because of the human psyche which is different for different individuals. What could be said to apply to one may fail in case of some other individual.

But there exist some common threads which bind people in love.

Some such tenets which help while defining love are:

Love is all about accepting

Accepting is an unconditional mutual agreement between the two individuals in a relationship. It could be said that acceptance is about labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change them. Love means appreciating

Appreciation is the next step to acceptance. It is about coming to terms you're your relationship and your partner. True love is about coming to terms with the all the lacuna and accepting a person and relationship in its natural form.

A good relationship comes about when you come to terms with your likes about the other person in the relationship.

Love is wanting and making another person feel good


In the case of true love, both partners try and strive to make things happy for the other. Love is about being unconditional in nature

Make love unconditional in nature and only then would it have the best of foundations to becoming a long and lasting relationship.

Love is about imparting a sense of security to your relationship


So, for a successful relationship, it is always better that you contribute the maximum and make your partner feel secure about the relationship.

Love is about ignoring the trifle little details


If you come across little things that irritate you about your partner, then the better thing to do would be to talk it over and find a solution rather than make a problem out if it! Also you could see the issues and still love your partner for he / she might be worth much more than a trifle little issue!

Love is about patience and trust as the foundation


A relationship is all about giving each other time and lending an assurance. Trust is another important element in a relationship as it acts as cement which holds it together during adverse times.

Love is about keeping envy out


In love, at times is better for the 'I' to take a back seat. It is about 'we' and not about 'I'. So for the longevity of your relationship, sink elements such as envy and individual haughtiness! Love is about perseverance

In case of true love, mistakes do happen but learning from mistakes is more important. At times, you would need to persevere to make amend to ensure that your love survives the test of times. Love is about hope and being true

Love is about being true to yourself and to your partner. It is all about hope, hope that you would be there for your partner during the best and worst of times.

What is Real Love?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. — I Corinthians

This piece of poetry describes the exact characteristics of real love. These qualities can be found in all truly loving relationships. The problem is actually with trying to search “love” in our daily lives. It is often found that most of us don’t look for these characteristics in a person. Instead, we look at physical appearance, wealth and fame. These are not the qualities of true love.

What is real love?

Real love could be said to extend beyond mere infatuation or crush which individuals develop at some point in time. It is a concept which encompasses the feeling of 'infatuation' and requires a higher degree of understanding and application!

A few things could be said to define a loose definition for real love although it may vary from one individual to another.

It is about the right person

Real love could be said to be about finding the right person. In other words, falling in love may not be real love. For your likes and dislikes may not align with your 'other half'. As a result, one could say that real love is finding the right person in which case there is a kind of equilibrium between the two individuals.

Knowing the other person

Real love requires a good and thorough understanding of the opposite person you are getting involved with. This is a tad different from the 'falling in love' and getting carried away. Such feelings diffuse after a while and it boils to the compatibility aspect between two individuals.

Knowing about the person's personality and character are so important. To identify the characteristics you could look at the aspects which draw you to a guy or a girl. If the list is long then you know that you know a lot about him /her and if the list is short then probably you need to know the person a bit more! This aspect would surface a quintessential one with regard to the sustenance of relationship. So if you were to get into a relationship with someone, it is always better to know him better!

Real Love isn't sex

It would be fair to say that sex is a part of the whole experience called 'real love'. But to identify sex as a determinant would be a miscalculation as this aspect is momentary in nature. As time goes by, this aspect too would lose steam and what would remain is the foundation- that of understanding and appreciating each other's emotions.

Love is a commitment.

Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting, you cannot base a healthy relationship on these things. In the long and winding journey of life, infatuation, sex and other such details will slowly vaporize and all that would be left in the relationship is commitment and understanding between the partners.

There are several other factors which could go into the definition of 'real love' but then again they would vary from person to person!